Hello & Good Morning loves!
Grab your coffee & lets chat...
I’ve been thinking, at lot lately, about the reality of being a “stay-at-home” mom and what that means. It’s not all “glamorous” as some may portray. You know, the quick remarks like, “oh it’s so nice you get to stay home”. It’s often consumed with dirty hair, sink full of dirty dishes, dirty diapers, backed up laundry, etc. All my stay-at-home mamas know what I’m talking about. Let’s be real, very person staying home during this pandemic knows what I’m talking about. And if you don’t, you’re an overachiever and we can’t be friends 😜 JUST KIDDING!
There are days when I excel at my “duties”, truly feeling like a 50’s housewife. My kid is dressed, my hair is done, make-up flawless, laundry is moving at a steady pace, dishes are put away, blah blah blah. However, there is one thing that’s not being met on these days…ME! A few simple things that I want to do don’t get done. Ugh she’s so needy, right. NO!
Clean house 24/7...
Okay, here’s the thing. Just because I stay home doesn’t mean the house is always going to be clean…I am not a robot people! Yes, I have a baby and one on the way…but I still have things that I want to do during the day. Maybe read a chapter in my favorite book (uhm, yeah right…but some of you do that) haha. I 100% enjoy working on my blog, hence, what you’re reading now! It’s been a LONG time since I’ve sat down and written anything of substance for this space and that makes me sad. Fingers crossed I’ve just changed that and can continue with dishing out meaningful content!
What have you been doing...
Why haven’t I posted anything meaningful you ask…well let me tell ya!
ONE | probably the main reason being my full attention, realistically, can’t go to my blog 24/7 (like most people). It truly takes a LOT of time to maintain and run a successful blog. Many would argue, and I agree, that it’s a FULL time job! And when you’re not seeing the monetary benefits it’s hard to give full-time job hours to it.
TWO | Another big reason is that I kinda lost my mojo when it comes to this space. Let me vent a moment. I started my blog, what 5 years ago….although it doesn’t really seem like it. IG and the online world is a tough cookie to crack. I feel like I’ve tried all the tricks and bam, still not a tone of growth. SUCKS…just being honest. It’s a punch to the gut sometimes and hard to keep going. Same with anything in life I would think. Okay, venting sesh over.
Just because you stay home and take care of the kids doesn’t mean your dreams get put on hold. A blogger I follow said it perfectly a while back. She said something along the lines of, “your baby is born into YOUR lives”. They must adapt to you and the way you do things. YES, you will do anything and everything for your babe but that doesn’t mean you fall by the waist side.
I must insert here – I am fully aware that everyone is different, every house is different, every kid is different, every situation is DIFFERENT! Some dreams may get put on hold but that doesn’t mean you can’t still work towards those dreams and goals.
You're doing a great job!
I think that was the original goal when I sat down to write this post. I just wanted to say that YOU are doing a great job! Staying home doesn’t mean you have it easy or that the house is clean 24/7. Make sure to carve out a little bit time to do what YOU want!
Again, for me, that’s this little space on the internet. I LOVE searching for sales and chatting on my IG stories. Basically sharing a little dose of my daily life with you. For others, that might be reading a few chapters when the kiddos are sleeping. For someone else, getting a good workout in, or maybe sowing a blanket. For some it is keeping your house clean 24/7 (Monica) and that’s totally fine! Do you BOO BOO!
Make sure to do you. It’s a crazy world and we live in crazy times. Take time for you, love on your babies, spend quality time with your partner, and enjoy every dang moment. We aren’t promised tomorrow so don’t waist away your day’s doing something that you aren’t proud of! Like, that sucks.
There's too much pressure
I was chatting with a friend the other day. Actually, I confessing to her that I felt as though I was failing in every aspect of my life: Kennedy was unhappy and fussy, the house was a mess, and my blog was falling behind. She reminded me that I am doing a good job! She also said something so dang true, “as women we sometimes put too much pressure on ourselves.”
OMG…total genius! Why do we do this to ourselves?! I’ll tell you why…
ONE | Social Media. Get’s us every time! It’s so hard to not look at Karen’s IG and want what she has….a clean house, successful job, perfect looking kids, you know…”the whole package”. Well, let me remind you that Karen is putting up a front! She doesn’t share that she has a live-in nanny/house gets professionally cleaned/work staff that helps/etc. DO NOT COMPARE YOUR LIFE TO OTHERS.
TWO | I think we feel that we need to do everything! Or at least that’s how I am!! I’ve always been this way and will probably always be this way! I often have to remind myself to take a step back. This is where my to-do lists come into play! I don’t have to do the laundry/dishes/sweep/vacuum/clean bathrooms – ALL in one day! Idk, maybe that works for some but for me it’s better to spread it out so I have time to do others things, cough cough, write this post. The key…prioritize!
Take a step back, take a deep breath, and KNOW you are doing a great job!
Things to think about...
- Lower your expectations – this may be a HARD thing for some of us but something I think is important. I needed to learn this when I became a stay at home mom. You do not need to be perfect in everything you do and attempt to do in a day.
- Make a To-Do list – YES girl! Make that to-do list every morning! I try to make one when my coffee is brewing. IMO, this is the best way to stay organized and prioritize the things that need to be done that day. NOT even going to lie to y’all, my to-do lists will read something like…
- Put Dishes Away | Sweep & Vacuum | Shower | Blog Post | Start Laundry
Yes, that’s right…I add in personal things that I need to get done or it most likely wound’t get done. I can’t be the only one who does this though!?
Working from home mamas
I can’t end this post without mentioning my mamas who work FULL time (now from home) + have school aged kids (who are also home)! I couldn’t even imagine!! Perhaps you need this reminder more than any of us…YOU are doing a great job! Like I’ve said, we are living in some crazy times.
Have patience with yourself, your kids, your spouse, your neighbor…we are all trying and doing our best. ♥
I digressed a few times but my hope is that this helped just one of you feel a little better about the job you are doing! Sometimes we all need that simple reminder. Have yourself an amazing day loves!